The Psycho Cyclist
We are proud to announce the first annual Kapiti Cycling Club DS (Deverek Smittle) Awards.
Nominations are eagerly awaited!
These awards are acknowledging the unsung heroes who battle in the trenches but may not have the legs to win many bike racers. This is your chance to win something by admitting - nobly - that in a tight fitting cycling top you are a little tubby. Now you can be rewarded for such an accomplishment. Maybe even a yellow jersey.
The prizes alone make it worthwhile!
1st prize: The uncensored, personally signed copy of Bob Pratt's all time literary classic ‘1001 tips to being a bloody fast bike rider'. Recall perceptive gems like tip 854: Have Finlay Brazier's parents. Tip 345 will give our youngsters guidance and inspiration : ride your bike a lot.
2nd prize: a years supply of jet planes, and if you have a bribe up your pocket -we may throw in a few jelly beans.
3rd prize: Dave Downer's much under-rated masterpiece ‘101 hints on how to Avoid Cycling'. With full colour photo's and DVD included, you'll want this indispensable guide into how Dave has managed to avoid cycling at the end of the season and does it with a smile and some excuse about learning how to plug in his electrical drill. Learn about how the dramatic pressures of life have dealt Dave a stark choice, with cycling tragically relegated behind cleaning the toilet. Dave's impending come back: hint 94, is a real page turner.
There are ten prestigious categories, and if we do not receive any on-line entries, I and my untrustworthy lieutenants will have the unconditional rights to award the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place getters in each category.
So please - send in your opinions, stories and observations!
- Best individual performance (anything and everything goes!)
- Best looking legs (shaven or hairy)
- Best excuse for not attending or pulling out of a race.
- Best administrative cock up
- Best looking Kapiti cycling fatty
- Best looking Kapiti cycling skinny
- Best and most inappropriate puncture
- Best crash (Abdil is excused because his was a REAL crash, and he's so far up the winners pole he has an unfair advantage). Tell us your stories.
- Best use of an expletive on a road ride.
- Best Rider in a Supporting role.
- Best "if at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again" performance.
- Best practitioner of do as I say not do as I do award.
- Best blog posted by the great and one-and-only Deverek Smittle.
Put the number and your three winners of each category.
And remember, vote for yourself! I will.